12 STEPS TO HELP YOU TALK DIRTY ABOUT PRIVATE……money
Having trouble doing late night pillow talk about private money? Don’t worry, here are 12 easy steps to help you talk dirty about private money. I hope this tickles your curiosity and you come back for more. So go ahead and read this, you big “no money down, $10 in the bank, creative real estate investing , station wagon driving, bandit sign planting” stud.
1. Take money from whomever will give it.
Let’s face it, as a real estate investor you need money. So if you come across some jerk with money, take it! Don’t waste your time hand-holding and making sure you have a plan. You are smarter. You watched a ‘No Money Down’ course, so you are the expert! Take the money and figure the rest out later.
2. Use free legal forms off the internet.
All lawyers want is your money. No way on earth that they are “highly trained” and know how to read that legal jargon to help keep you out of trouble. The fact is they have bills to pay and they will overcharge you a few hundred dollars to supposedly keep you out of trouble. Make sure you copy contracts from online with all kinds of terms that cannot be enforced, and have other state’s laws and codes mentioned within it.
3. Don’t answer the phone.
If you owe someone money and they call to ask you about it, DO NOT PICK UP THE PHONE. Just assume they need to chill out and not worry about their money. They are probably stupid anyway and need to get a life. If they are worried about you paying them back, they should have never loaned the money in the first place. Tip: Remember, you read a ‘No Money Down Real Estate Course’ so you are the EXPERT!!!
4. Interest rates do not matter.
If someone has money they will give you, pay them whatever interest rate they want! Remember, you will only need a short term loan and there always is a way to show it’s a good deal on paper. You will sell the property so fast that you will sucker them and there is no possible way they are smarter than you..remember the ‘No Money Down Real Estate Course’?
5. Don’t worry about where they get the money.
Do not spend any time finding out where they get the money to loan you. If it’s coming from a good fella or it’s 100% of a senior’s retirement account, it’s still green and doesn’t matter. Always assume it will work out because you are smarter then everyone else. Worse case scenario, if it didn’t work out you might be on a few front pages in the newspaper.
6. More debt is better.
I remember hearing from a famous author who once said, “the more good debt I have, the richer I am.” So go out and get into as much debt as you possibly can. Make sure it’s “good” debt backed by real estate and not “bad” consumer debt. Remember, those foreclosures you bought from the bank were “good debt” at some point on someone else’s balance sheet. Don’t worry about the whole “the borrower being a slave to the lender” religious talk, that’s old, out of date wisdom. This economy is new and you are the expert!
7. Pay back the money when you feel like it.
If you borrow money to do a deal and then it sells, just use they proceeds to go have some fun and get your next deal going. If the private lender asks you about the deal, just tell them it’s going “good” and they should get the money back in no time. Also refer to step number #3.
8. Don’t worry about when or how they want payments, get the money first.
Get the money first, then worry about when and how they want it paid back. If you have a big wad of cash, little payments aren’t going to matter much. You are a self-made, soon-to-be millionaire, so you will always have the money. If you mess up, you can always find another lender to payoff the old ones. I call it my Bernie Madoff trick.
9. Assume raising money is always 100% legal in every situation and assume the SEC doesn’t care about your offering.
Go ahead and buy advertising to find private lenders. Send letters to random rich people’s homes. Always use language like “guaranteed” and “low risk” within your materials to help get more money and make the private lenders feel more secure. Don’t worry about laws-you are small time the SEC has bigger fish to fry. I would also advise using fake testimonials to help build your case. Another trick is to say “me and my associates have done millions in deals.” ‘Your associates’ can refer to someone who you met in the back of the room at a real estate conference at a Super 8 motel. He had to be telling the truth when he said they (his other “mysterious” and hidden partners) raised 100 million dollars of private money in two weeks using secret methods online. Granted, he told you this right before he bummed a few bucks to get a soda…
10. Don’t care about their investment goals and how they want their money invested.
Who cares if they want a safe and secure investment? I won’t lose sleep over it. Hey if they don’t want to make millions with you, then they need help. It’s not your problem if they have needs, wants, and desires that might not match up with the way you are using their money. The best way to solve this problem is to take the money, do what you are going to do anyway, then answer them with what they want to hear. If they ask about it being safe and secure say “yes” if they say they want high yield and a risky play to make more money say “yes”. No risk, no reward, right?
11. Borrow money from family members.
If you want a good life, always…I mean ALWAYS…ALWAYS borrow from friends and family members. The closer they are connected, the better chance you won’t have to hear from them again (if things go wrong). Imagine your uncle always telling your family members what you owe him. You would have to explain yourself over and over again at all family gatherings. If you get money from them and fail to pay it back, worst case scenario is that it tears your entire family apart. However best case is you get enough money to lease an entry level Lexus.
12. Always believe Gurus when they say something like this:
“I walked into a room, made a presentation and walked out with 5 million in private money loans that day.” The guru has to be telling the truth and I’m sure they have no incentive to lie. It’s not like they are trying to sell you anything…or I mean it’s not like they need social proof to move a product. Don’t bother thinking “if you can walk into a room and make 5 million in ten minutes, why is he standing on stage for an hour to make 20 grand? Those are small thoughts, and you must think bigger to make millions.
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Do you have any more dirty tips about private money? Leave a comment.
